For 18 years, these two definitions clashed in my mind, so I denied being a slave. The impulse to offer myself completely to another person is too overpowering to resist. My first experience with kinky sex happened at

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I would imagine someone gripping my hair tightly or a stinging slap on my ass—all very exciting. Let me tell you something. Nothing dries you up quicker than Roots. The growing list of victims—Eric Garner, Sandra Bland, Michael Brown, just to name a few—is a constant reminder that as a black person in America, you are never safe. Which is a hard thing to balance when the very thrill of BDSM plays with our notions of safety.
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Kink isn't always colourblind. Photo by Flickr user Stephanie Lawton. For as long as I can remember, certain sexual acts were deemed "freaky white people shit" by the vast majority of my black female friends. From my earliest memories of teenage slut-shaming as a Toronto high school student, it was agreed upon in our young black and brown minds that white girls were the only ones who engaged in oral sex, for example. We would grow up to find that not only was this complete and utter bullshit, but also wonder how that stereotype started in the first place. The more I followed sex-positive black women on social media in my mids, the more curious I became about kink and everything it meant. I started to wonder about my boundaries and limits when it came to sex.